We are all aware that LIFE CHANGES, we all know this on a cognitive level right? Sure we do, but the repetitiousness of the daily grind makes us forget that life changes ~ because there is just as much that repeats and seems to put us on Auto pilot. When the BIG things roll around THAT is why people take stock and take notice. When someone in your circle passes away, or has a baby, moves away, has a horrible accident, divorce, marriage, unexpected death and yes of course chronic illness or conditions.
This post is inspired from a post in a Gastroparesis support group I’m in, I’d never quote exactly but the GIST was she was sad. She used to have a career that she loved, friends, luncheon dates, spa dates …. and it’s of course “all gone” because of GP. Her sadness touches me in my heart because I GET IT ~ I honestly do ~ lost EVERYTHING literally lost everything ~ yet here I am and I’m ok.
I have bad days, sometimes weeks and yes even sometimes months. Some days are worse than others, and I definitely have more bad days than I wish BUT I’m here. I have learned SO MUCH through this process of becoming ill like this. I’ve learned that I need to make a CHOICE to make the best of it and be grateful (that dang perspective thing again). I’ve learned to stay in bed and listen to my body when it screams at me. I’ve learned to not feel guilty for that. I’ve learned to make the most out of the good days. I’ve learned patience and appreciation and compassion in ways my previous self never could have dreamed. I’ve learned forgiveness ~ next month will make 5 years since I had the surgery that did this to me. There are people I worked with and knew socially for 20 years ~ whom I haven’t heard a word from in these 5 years. I’m ok with that because maybe you never did care and I guess I’d rather know that ~ and honestly I’m in no way the person you knew for all those years. Last month I culled exactly 100 people off my “friends list” ~ only one re-requested me ~ and that means it was a healthy thinning. ❤
I learned to navigate my new life ~ my new circumstances ~ and to appreciate every moment along the way. I’m grateful for the amazing handful of really good friends that I’m blessed with ~ and appreciate every single person in my life. Every time I read a post like that woman’s my heart breaks for them ~ because I KNOW that sense of devastation isolation and that whole feeling of “why am I still here?!” …. and I wish ai could personally reach out to every one of them and talk to them and explain that it CAN get better and encourage them to redesign their mind to embrace their “new life” ~ find the pluses and make their condition no longer their focus. It’s SO HARD to do but it IS possible ~ I’m proof ~ so hopefully someday some one person might see this particular blog and need to hear this at that moment. If it’s you I’m so glad you’re here ~ reach out ~ send me a message I’ll speak with anyone who’s struggling ~ GP or anything else doesn’t matter! Just know it CAN be better than it is today ❤
Side notes ~ I found out this week that I was chosen to be on one of the committees for the Your Weight Matters 2017 National Convention in NOLA ~ #veryexcited
I also found out this week my surgery on my left leg will be a week from next Thursday ~ 1/19 #notsoexciting 😂😂😂.
I SWEAR that my 2018 resolution is going to be NO SURGERIES! 😉
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