No I have not cracked up, okay not 100% yet anyways but my goodness there are weeks that I feel like my tube has a LIFE and a mind of it’s own! I’m going to warn you now that from a “bodily function” standpoint this blog will border on graphic so if you are easily grossed out – please abort please abort!
My tube, honestly I love my tube because on the “whole” it means that I am able to stay away from the hospital more often, not enter starvation mode, lose my hair you know all of that fun stuff. So honestly I love my tube, and until such a time as someone has a cure that has proven itself to work for ME I don’t care to give up my tube because it is a “lifesaver” in so many ways.
That being said, there are times I’d like to rip my tube out of my body and fling it into the abyss! ARRGGHHHhhhh The last week or so that is the case I’m so very done right now! Last week I DID end up going to the hospital because I was having so much trouble. What so much trouble entails for my personal situation is a combination of lack of bowel movements, intractable nausea and vomiting and overwhelming pain. They of course did a cat scan and such, and what they found was that my bowels are so “full” (that was over a week ago) that they were actually distorted and literally PUSHING my organs out of place. Hence their surprise when they located my appendix on the LEFT side of my abdomen, gotta love it. The doctor felt that my pain was coming from bowel spasms tugging on scar tissue and that there was not a lot “to be done”. He gave me some pain medicine, as well as a new medication to help stop the spasms. Well in fact I only took one pain pill in the last week and that was that following day, because the medication that he gave me to stop the spasms seems to be in fact helping alleviate the pain. The nausea and vomiting are a way of life for me, so I really don’t think much about those ~ when you have gastroparesis you just live with those.
I try to NOT take pain medication as much as possible because it does in fact slow gastric motility and I have enough issues in THAT department. I’m also not trying to ever add “pill addiction” to my list of issues, so honestly I really avoid pain medication as much as possible. So I’m thrilled that the other medication is helping the bowel spasms and hence the pain. That may leave you wondering, okay then what’s the problem, why the arrgghhh?
Well here we are a little over a week later and if my bowels were in fact FULL over a week ago, they are no LESS full now. Since that visit and the scan showing the distention I’ve literally had three bowel movements, two were the size of a grape, one maybe the size of a golf ball. CLEARLY there is no shortage of back up going on in there. You may also wonder how that relates to my tube, well I’m here to tell you that it does! Things are so “backed up” in there that my tube has taken it upon itself to start “emptying” me sporadically as it sees fit. In a nutshell basically my tube is now vomiting for me with no warning.
You have to understand that “vomiting” is not an easy task for me, my stomach is in fact paralyzed. Just as it does a piss poor job of contracting to push food DOWN into my intestinal tract, it is just as ill-equipped at helping me to dispel the nausea by contracting to push anything OUT the other way. So that leaves my “tube” to handle the job both ways. I don’t have a vent on my tube so I cannot just pull matter out “at will”. I have to wait until literally the “back up” is so bad that when my bowels won’t work, and my stomach won’t work (in either direction) the only outlet is the tube (think pressure cooker here). My tube will quite literally blow itself open and get sick for me to expel some of the rotting crap sitting in there going nowhere.
Sounds gross I know, and trust me it IS. It is PARTICULARLY gross when it just explodes on your clothes while walking, while sitting while breathing. As I write this blog I am doing an extra load of laundry for the 3rd time this week because of the arbitrary nature with which my tube decides it’s time to play volcano, just URGH. Every time it happens it means shower, laundry and just ICK ICK ICK. Mind you the fact that things are that backed up already have me feeling like dog doo, so the added fun of your body spewing waste across the room through less than natural means is not a welcome addition to your day.
Well then, I just needed to “get that out” (HA!), it’s not “news”, it’s not a medical miracle or even a deep thought for a blog it’s simply a day in the life of dealing with this condition and the tube. Literally a day in the life! I promise I’ll shoot for a more uplifting subject tomorrow, I just really had to VENT on the whole tube relationship thing today! Thanks for stopping by!